EL CAJON VALLEY HOST LION’S NEWSLETTER
Aug 18, 2025, Members: _41___ Guests: _Many Family and Friends__
Facebook: El Cajon Valley Host Lions Club
Volume 2026 SERVICE FOR PP RAY HACKWORTH Issue 7
CALL TO ORDER: _Robert Moreau___________________________
To all our Lions Club members, welcome to the Ray Hackworth Memorial for being here. plus, we have some members from our district governor’s office, including the district office, to be here for his memorial.
What our plans are here today is getting this mic working.
And after we successfully do that, we’re going to do a couple of things that our club normally does at the start of every meeting.
We’re going to do a pledge of allegiance to this great flag of ours.
And we are going to do a benediction by one of our members, correctly named Christian.
He’ll be doing the benediction.
And then I’ll say a few words for us, and we’ll be breaking for lunch
Invocation: __Christian Wille Pledge of Allegiance: __Ron Nevel _________
Marine Corps Honor Guard
Presentation of Colors
National Anthem
Folding & Presentation of the Flag
“Taps”
Lunch & Fellowship
Robert Moreau said
We have a buffet-style walk-through lunch, and our plan is to spend about half an hour having our lunch, and then we’ll get into the memorial.
Does that sound good?
Welcome & Opening Remarks from the Lions Club
Robert Moreau
One of the things that Ray did every Monday for us, and I would go by and pick him up and drive him to all the meetings on Monday.
But he was our joke teller, and he, some of you know that, but he would come up with a different joke, and I even took him to a bookstore, so some of his jokes were so bad I said you need some help.
We went over and got some joke books, and even some members of the club bought him joke books, as I recall.
But to start off the second half and before we get into the memorial here, I’ve got Dick Nasif, one of our members, and he was a good friend of Ray’s, and he was in our little poker club that we did for well over 20 years.
Joke of the Day: Dick Nasif
The guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink.
The bartender shrugs and says, Sure, why not?
The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
And then, from the other pocket, he pulls out a teeny tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues, just like Ray Charles.
The whole place was stunned.
The bartender gave him a drink.
After finishing it, the guy says, Now if I show you an even better trick, do I drink for free all night?
Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing.
The man pulls the rat and piano out again.
And this time reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a frog, a bull frog.
The frog clears his throat and starts singing loudly and confidently a blues lyric.
The rat’s playing and the frog’s singing, and the bar goes crazy.
Suddenly, your man rushes up and says, I’ll give you $10,000 for that fraud.
The guy says, No, not a chance.
I’ll give you $25,000.
He says, No.
50,000 cash.
The guy says, Okay, deal.
The bartender’s jaw drops.
He says, Are you crazy?
That frog is a gold mine.
Why’d you sell him?
The guy looks at the bartender and says Relax.
The frog can’t sing.
The rat’s a ventriloquist.
Remembrances:
Jerry Dressel
I was reflecting back and trying to figure out when I met Ray.
It goes back to 1980, all right?
It might have been 79, but I just can’t remember; I remember the circumstances.
And I was lucky enough that Dorothy liked me also, so I had two very good friends.
I was his CPA, became his friend, and we played a lot of golf together.
We shared holidays together with our families.
We, I guess we went on golf outings, and then, you know, Ray had an accident, fell down a couple of years ago, and we had to put him in an assisted living.
And right after that, COVID started.
And I don’t know how we worked out with the assisted living thing, but we have it at the end of the building, so we can break all the COVID rules and go in and see him.
And Bob Kibblisky, remember, sneaking in the back door too, but I wasn’t supposed to say that.
But I know a number of his friends from here, and Tina saw him also.
But as time moved on, Ray’s memory got worse and worse and worse, and finally, there was no option but to put him in memory care.
And we haven’t helped at home so he could be with the life’s Club and where he gets the poker game and all that stuff, but we came from North County , and it was a hall, so we moved him up to a place in Rancho, in Rancho Bernard.
And as you, he got further and further along, it was more and more difficult to see Ray, but there’s one person here who saw all the time.
They kept seeing them, kept seeing them, taking care of them, and telling everybody what’s going on, and she needs some credit.
That’s Vanessa right over there.
So when I’m preparing my thoughts on how to honor Ray, I came across a poem that I thought was very fitting.
It’s called The Dash by Linda Ellis.
It speaks of the two dates that we eventually receive on our tombstone: the day of our birth and the day of our passing.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
The dash represents all the time that they spend living on earth.
But now those who love them only know what that little wine is worth, for it matters not how much we own the cars, the house, the dash; what matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
Ray’s Dash began in a back in Ohio on April 13th, 1933. He was born in Admiral Dutty Hackworth and Lena Beard’s Hackworth.
He attended Little High School, graduating in 1952, and was a leader and an athlete.
His yearbook captured his imagination and his humor when he stated his ambition was to go fishing in the Gulf of Mexico and catch mermaids.
Ray stood tall in stature and spirit, and he made his mark in basketball, football, the school band, and as a class officer.
In 1953, he answered the call to serve his country and join the United States Marine Corps, and he served until 1955, when he earned the National Defense Service Medal, the United Nations Service Medal, and the Korean Service Medal.
The Marines had a lasting impression on Ray, and he often quoted the Marine Corps rule of deals.
Take all you want, but you know you take.
So he was a tall man.
His record-setting was 6-3, but somehow, through his memory, he turned 6-7 when he was referring back to the prior readings.
Ray’s life was rich.
with love and family.
He was first married to Joyce Hackworth, and together they had three children, Howard Hackworth, Cindy Irwin, and Millie Milstead, who sadly passed in 2020. On February 1, 1982, Ray married Dorothy Rosso.
They were married until Dorothy’s passing in 2019. With Dorothy came two children, Kathy and Kevin, who became part of Ray’s extended family.
Kathy and Ray had a very unique bond.
And Ray eventually adopted Catherine.
And from that moment on she called Dad.
Ray and Dorothy, and the kids lived at 6048 Ridgemore Drive until his daily health made a necessary move to assist a living in 2019. Great to survive by his brother, Al, his sister-in-law, Vicki, his children, Howard, Cindy, and Kathy Smith, his stepson, Kevin Hempel, and his grandchildren, Shane
Hempel, Tyler Milstead, Cindy Milstead, Alden Milstead, Ryan Smith, Rockwood Hempel, Terry Lynn Hempel, and Sue Ann Hempel, and Sue Ann Hempel, and sons-in-law, Rod Milstead, and Robert Denham.
Ray lived a life of purpose and community.
As you know, he’s a devoted member of the El Cajon Valley Lions Club, where he was a key part of Camp Jack.
He served as the official joke teller, which you already know, for many years, and in the Lions Club, he forged many close friendships with Dr. Terry Winninger, Kylie Grunstad, Bob Moreau, and many others.
In business, Ray was equally accomplished and equally beloved.
His ventures included H&O Investments, Accurate, Unite, Pet Supply Warehouse, Prospect Business Park, Valley View Investments, and there’s probably more.
And just as in his personal life, these ventures weren’t just about success; they were also about personal relationships.
Friendships were built with people like Bob Kibblisky and me.
Ray was also a fixture in their long-running poker game.
I think it was longer than 20 years, though.
But his nickname became easy money, as I always thought.
Yeah
All those who knew Ray were impressed by his quick wit and humor.
When it became necessary to put them up in assisted living, we were moving Ray and Dorothy, and Vanessa was searching throughout the house and had to find some of Dorothy’s underwear.
and she couldn’t find it.
So she went to Ray.
She said, Do you know where Dorothy’s underwear is?
And he looks at her, and he goes, Did you check my glove box.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ray and Dorothy traveled the world with several trips to Asia, Europe, and Alaska.
Ray’s last year culminated when Ray and his brother Al were lucky enough to participate in an honor flight.
In April 2022, Ray and his brother Al traveled to Washington, D.C., a journey of remembrance and recognition for veterans.
It was an unforgettable experience that brought deep meaning to Ray for his later years.
So as the poem says, raise dashed matter.
It mattered the way he loved, served, laughed, worked, and gave back.
It mattered in the family he raised, the friendships he built, and the lives he touched.
Let us all remember how we live our dash, not the cash, not the cars, or the house, but how we live and how we love is what it truly remains.
Ray Hackworth lived his dash with honor, humor, generosity, and a whole lot of heart.
May we all do the same.
- Kathy Smith
First, he was just a man my mom worked on, a tall, burly guy with a sense of humor that could light the room and the audience that even then I could feel.
He take my mom to lunch sometimes, once in a while, I tag along.
I still remember how special I felt, serving those tables with him.
They made me laugh, kind of made me feel seen.
It wasn’t flashy, it was simple, but it stuck.
He would say, That was the best lunch I’ve had all day.
My mom wasn’t a particularly funny woman, so I love this unexpected humor.
There were a few bumps in my life through my teenage years, and I was lucky enough and felt comfortable enough to reach out to Ray for help.
He wasn’t pushed over and always made sure I learned a lesson by helping me out, still always calling happy men in his stern voice.
Clearly, over time, Ray became a more permanent part of my life.
And then when I was 23, after being married to my mom, I asked him if you would talk.
It wasn’t a small thing.
I was an adult.
I knew what I was asking.
Well, while it wasn’t easy for him, he had children from a previous marriage.
After weeks of careful thought, he said yes.
So on April 13th, 1982, I became his daughter in name, the one who had long been his daughter in the heart.
It was very easy to transition from calling him Ray to calling him dad, and fearful that he felt the same without calling his daughter.
Some of you may know him as a proud Marine.
a business owner, a Lions Club president, a man who helped run Camp Jack for any privileged kids.
You may remember him driving seniors around town or handing out turkeys at Thanksgiving.
We wore many hats in this lifetime.
The hat meant most to me, one labeled Dad.
Over the years, my dad showed me who he was, not just through big gestures, but through the steady, generous presence brought to my mind.
He gave me advice when I was building my business.
He helped me buy my home during the hardest times in my life.
Took me on vacations, I’ll never forget.
He was an incredibly loyal and loving husband to my mom.
That was particularly difficult in Mom’s dementia.
She wasn’t easy to live with during those days, but he endured with patience and grace.
He was also an incredibly generous and loving grandpa, as my son and the other grandkids will attest to.
He reminded me that I was loved.
And yes, he told me I was mistaken.
Adopt, daughter.
And I was hoping to adopt a daughter.
She was a funny man.
And yet he told anyone who met him more than I can say.
The truth is, families are a complication.
Love doesn’t always follow clean lines or predictable paths.
But what I know for sure is this.
Ray, my dad, loved me. He tried hard and gave him more than most.
And I’m so grateful that that’s coming.
I miss him.
I will always miss him and hear his name out on paper anymore, but how I live, how I love, and what I choose.
people that are showing up matter, that kindness counts, that love, even when it’s imperfect, can change life
- Tyler Pemphill for Ryan Smith
Gramps was known for his generosity and curiosity about others’ lives.
Gramps was described as a man who gave without expecting anything in return, reflecting God’s love.
Al Hackworth (Ray’s Brother)
Thanks, everybody, for coming.
This is pretty tough to lose a brother after all the years that we’ve been together.
My name’s Al, last name is Hackworth.
I’ve had a brother for 85 years.
And so I’m probably the only one in this group that’s known Ray as long as I have, or 85 years is a long time.
My oldest brother, Chet, my sister, Barbara, Ray, and I were all born in Aquino, Ohio.
Jerry already told you that.
Our parents, Lovina and Admiral Dutty, were our parents.
And we were raised in a little town called Elit in Akron, Ohio, a little suburb.
and then that suburb, most of the dads that lived in that area worked in Goodyear, Goodyear, Tire, and Rubber was the big, was the big company in Akron, and most of the dads worked at Goodyear, Tire and Rubber, and our dad did too.
He worked there for like 45 years.
And so, Ray and I, being the two youngest of the siblings, shared a room.
My dad built the house, and he added on to the back of the house when Ray came along.
And then I came along later, but we shared that room in the back of the house.
And back in the good old days, we used to play differently than what the kids are doing today, right?
We had hula hoops, and I don’t even know if they called it a hula hoop back in that, and we built our skateboards, and we did things certainly differently back in those days.
We spend a lot of our free time outside running around, playing tag and writing bikes, and so on.
In vacation, my brother and I used to go with dad up to Canada, and we would stay at a fishing resort up there, so we did our fishing in Canada.
And then we had a knuckle that we lived in southern Ohio and had a big, huge farm, and we, brother and I, would go down in the summers and spend the summers down there, baling hay and doing the things that farmers do.
So we had a good time doing that together in our younger years.
As a teenager, Ray got his first job right down the street.
It is called Chestnut Ridge Dairy.
And it’s funny because Coral and Cheryl’s mother worked at Chestnut Ridge Dairy as well.
And so Ray used to do cleanup in the milk cans and the general area over there, so it wasn’t a fantastic job, but it was a job that gave him enough money to go out and play on the weekends with his friends.
And so that was his first job, that is, as I remember, growing up.
Since Ray is seven years older than I, He would be out having fun with his friends and of course I was young and I think I was like, I don’t know what I was in the, but I had to stay home with mom and dad while he was out playing around with his more adult friends there than mine.
And so I was a little whiz kid there with electronics.
I was getting into electronics.
And so I thought I’d play a little funny thing on my brother and set up a burglar alarm on the front door.
And so if he came in late, I’d turn the burglar alarm on, and he’d come in.
And of course it would set the alarm off, and it would get everybody in the house excited about him coming in late, and then it would cause of disruption in our family.
And so, BBN or Frankster, I think I got that from my brother, because all the years that he and I spent together, we always pulled each other’s chain and string, and really, always kidding with one another all the time.
We really enjoyed our relationship with doing that.
As you all know, Rhee had a great sense of humor.
He already said that tonight, and everybody knows that.
He left a kid around and pulled pranks of his own.
And as a kid’s brother, I must have gotten his genes there from doing that because we did that constantly.
and re-enlisted into the military, Jerry was telling you that.
And that was about the time that I graduated from high school, that both Ray and my brother Chet were, he was our oldest brother, were out of the service.
The two of them and my sister Barbara had to move out, or they moved out west, and then I decided that California was the place to be for the warmer weather, the cute girls, and free education.
So, of course, I came out as well.
And so I followed Ray out to California.
Ray and his wife, Joyce, his first wife, had left their first house in Anaheim.
And fortunately, he kind of took me in under his wing to get me started and established.
And so I lived with him for a while, getting established and finding a job and finding a place to live.
So I helped him get his house fixed up there and such back in those days.
Ray was a, back in those days, Ray was a salesman for Sunset Pools.
And so he was such a good salesman that he sold himself two poles.
He sold himself the pole in his Anaheim backyard, and then he sold himself his own pool in his San Diego backyard when he moved to San Diego.
As he and Chet and my sister Barbara started having children, they would all gather and we would all get on to raise and use the swimming pool and have all the fun pool parties and all the things that go along with pool parties.
Ray loved his Lions Club.
He always commented to me about the Lions Club.
Oh, I’ve got a tear up on this area because he doesn’t love you guys.
He always talked about you and about how great everybody was in the alliance, but he said he was telling me about Camp Jack.
And I said, Oh, that Camp Jack, I’d like to be a part of that.
And he says, Well, would you like to volunteer?
And I said, Absolutely, I’d love to volunteer.
So I got to volunteer.
And he said, Well, you know, you live in Temecula, you’ll have to come down and stay at my house.
And I said, Oh, that’s fine.
And so we went down and stayed at the house, and of course we stayed at night, and we did whatever we do at their party tonight, and then worked at Camp Jack.
Well, I helped do the fishing with Ray, and I just loved it.
So here I am, thinking I’ve got a job next year, and I’m going to volunteer as well.
So the following year, I called Ray and I said Hey, Ray, it’s about time for Camp Jack.
And he says, I’m sorry, brother, but we don’t have a position for you this year.
And I said, uh-oh, what is going on?
So anyhow, I got fired from Chance again, and here it is, a volunteer job, and my brother fired me.
So if any of you know why I got fired, I’d appreciate it if you had come to me and let me know.
But I miss Camp Jack, and I really loved it.
Let’s see, where am I?
As Jerry mentioned, I had the pleasure of accompanying Ray at the San Diego Honor Flight in Washington, D.C. It was so thoughtful of Jerry and Vanessa to get Ray set up and submit the application.
And when the time came, Jerry called me and asked me if I would like to take Ray to Washington, D.C. And I said, Really?
And that was right off my alley, and I was a military person as well.
When the time came up we flew back to the capital, and all these men and women honorably served our country.
It was very emotional.
The veterans received carpet, red carpet treatment everywhere we went.
The veterans, just to add a lot of attention, people are praising all the military as we went around.
We toured the military monuments and attended banquets held for the veterans in their honor.
And I thought I heard a lot of great guest speakers.
And what a moving experience it was for both of us.
We had a lot of tears during that trip.
One last thing I want to share with you today, my whole life, I call my brother Ray, everybody called him Ray, all right?
But sometimes, for emphasis, I called him Raymond.
It’s almost like R-A-M-O-N-D, but it was R-A-M-O-N, and Raymond.
And so, about 75 years went by.
So 10 years ago, Ray came to me and said, Al, I want you to call me by my real name.
And I said, What?
He says, My name is not Raymond.
It’s Ramone.
And I said, Al.
I said, all these years I’ve been calling you Raymond, and your name is Ramon.
It’s about the same.
Here’s what happened.
In case you didn’t know, there’s a famous actor, Ramon Navarro.
And it goes back to 1925. Ramon Navarro was a Spanish, very handsome leading man, and Ben Hur.
His revealing costume was said to have caused quite a sensation among the women.
Obviously, to name Ray after him, the good-looking actor must have had quite an impression on our mother.
So that is where Raymond came from.
And brother, we had so many things that we’ve done together over the 85 years. We’re going to miss you.
- Others who wish to share. (Please limit to 2 minutes)
- Bob Moreau said
Okay, I’m going to do something now that is a little scary because I’m going to be asking members from my own club to come up and say a few words.
Now, I’ve been asked to keep them down to a couple of minutes because these guys are just constantly yacking and yacking , and on this club I happen to be… a person that goes
I’m anxious to hear from them because so many people have had a lot to do with Ray or Ramon for a number of years.
Remembrances from Lion’s Members
- Chris Bramwell
- Mike Raney
- Tom Hoban
- Mark Clifton
- Mercy Walters
- Walter Simmons
- Tom Normandie
Bob Moreau
Well, if you don’t mind, I’m going to close this up, and certainly I’m going to close it by telling you how appreciative I am.
I’ve given this job to put this on to Jerry and Vanessa.
It was well deserved for Ray, and we’ll remember him for a very long time.
On behalf of the Lions Club, thank you for being here and sharing this day.
Now we’ll do it for us today.
Thank you.
| Ray’s Family |
UPCOMING PROGRAMS:
AUG 25: (Business Meeting). Noon.
Lead to serve and serve to leave
AP Singh, International Lions President
